Ratings

These made me laugh. They aren't the official MPAA ratings, just what New York Times puts on the bottom of their movie reviews because someone who writes them seems to have a sense of humor. My favorites warnings are those of robust greed, naked Angelina and action hero sex - without the suit.

“August” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It has strong language, weak sex and robust greed.

“Hellboy 2” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It has some scary monsters, grown-up problems and salty lingo.

“Wanted” is rated R. (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.) Nonstop violence, brief kitchen-counter sex.

“Beowulf” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Gory violence and a naked Angelina Jolie avatar.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Death, but little blood.

“What Happens in Vegas” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). May induce headaches.

“10,000 B.C.” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It has a lot of violence, none of it terribly grisly.

“Iron Man” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It has a lot of action violence, none of it especially graphic or gruesome. Also, Iron Man has sex, and not with the suit on. But not completely naked either.

“Juno” is, somewhat remarkably, rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It has sexual situations, obviously, but no nudity or violence and not much swearing.